Final Farewell

The final farewell gathering today was truly a spectacular success! I had loads of fun and all the food was exceptionally yummy and we bonded for the very last time before venturing out on to our own roads not trampled. I don't have many pictures this time as my newly bought camera battery died on me, so guys, gimme your pics!! :P

Meanwhile, enjoy ;)

Four Down, One To Go

Last One.

Idiocy and the People Who Practise It

This is utterly ridiculous!! What the fuck is this country coming to if one can't even hug or kiss their own girlfriend/boyfriend?! 

Judge : Five Months For Hugging Girlfriend Excessive

The only things that were screaming in my head as I read this were:

1. The girlfriend had overreacted

2. So did her brother

3. The kicker : "agreed with the judge that the five-month jail term was excessive but said Mohamad Roslan had to be given appropriate punishment as a lesson for him and to those inclined towards such actions."

I apparently fail to see what the "offence" is that warrants such "appropriate punishment". 

I hate how our human rights are being mishandled in this country.

Roxxxxy!

Ever since I've started losing weight, I've found myself to get much more excited about shopping. Previously, all I would want to shop for is for Apple stuff or electronics. Now it's that bag, and those blouses and this pants. I'm actually *really* enjoying myself right now even if 50% of the stuff I try on isn't that great looking on me yet :P

Anyhoo today I did some shopping and I finally got a new wallet to replace my current one that is falling apart and also got a new blouse which I'm hoping to wear to this Wednesday's farewell tea! Almost bought a pair of really fabulous sunglasses but it was too expensive :(

Birthday Boy

HAPPY 25TH BIRTHDAY,

PHILIP!!

I love you!

Many hugs and kisses!!

New Ride

Wa-hey my new car is finally here!!

Meet Spencer.

(And yes, I know it's weird that I name my cars :P )

I, Camwhore

Yesterday's camwhore pics are up!! OK, admittedly I'm in almost all of the pictures below, but by goshdarnit, I wanted to camwhore as much as possible because I dressed up! Nyeh! Anyone wanting high-res pictures just email me, if not just head over to Facebook. XD

Enjoy!

Lunchtime Camwhoring

OK I know I said I'd post up all the pics I took today at lunch but I've been bogged down with some unexpected stuff to do so I'll do it by tomorrow, promise!!

Lunch rocked!! XD

Pissed

I am so, so mad that I can't even begin to tell you exactly how infuriated I am.

And that I'm scared to death.

So much effort and so much work better not be for naught.

I really need this.

I really, really do.

All I just want is to pass.

Gah

*Eep!*

Dreading tomorrow's final.

Lucky Number

23 is definitely my lucky number.

Studytime!

Now Playing : "Symphony No.9" - Beethoven

Bah! 

The important exams are on Thursday and Friday...but it's Monday already and I feel quite unmotivated to revise a second time. Heck, all my notes and books are lying here right next to me begging to be picked up and used but after reading a page, my mind drifts off someplace.

Maybe boredom, I thought...but then again, it couldn't be. I was bored the entire weekend and didn't do revision no.2 one bit and instead cleared out and reorganized my entire wardrobe. After removing five large trash bags full of clothes which were too large or just plain outdated and a couple of which, begged the question "what was I thinking?!", I am now left with a tidy but at least 60% bare closet.

Liberating? Yes. Satiated my boredom? Er, no...

This is really annoying since I know very well the pressure to do well enough to pass so that I can graduate this year. But, why isn't it stoking the non-fire in me to revise again?! Bah! It can't be due to overconfidence--I have very little, infact. Yet, I can't help thinking "oh, I already know this" each time I read random sentences in my notes. 

Overconfidence is not my friend, I learned this a couple of semesters back.

*Prays* Need strength...and possibly a good whack on the noggin.

**Wehehehehehe revised again right after posting this. Woot!

Of things to come

Now Playing : "Wheels" - John Mayer

At times, I think that I'm sort of person who looks too much into signs.

Not the kind you see on the side of the roads or the one boldly declaring there's a sale going on in a store. No.

Signs, like things happening, whether good or bad, before a major event. Why I say this is simply because ever since I set out to buy my new car, event after event was unpleasant, deeply short of expectations and just downright frustrating. There just hasn't been one good experience so far and I wonder if these are signs of an bumpy experience with owning the new car. Of course, I put the blame wholly on the bumbling salesman that attended to me.

Sometimes, when things like these happen (no relation to the car), they turn out in two ways; one, that the signs really were signs and two, in the end I was able to say "putting up with all those frustrations paid off". I'm really hoping for the second option this time, since I pretty much have had lousy luck with my previous car and I'm already experiencing all kinds of bullshit before the new one even arrives. 

I just pray that everything will go smoothly once I get my car.

Delicate

Now Playing : "Delicate" - Damien Rice

Several days ago, a friend had sent me this link:  You Know You're In Love With A Military Man When... with presumably the best intentions (I highly doubt otherwise, because I do not think she is that sort of person) because it was something that concerned me and I am appreciative of her thinking of me. So, whatever I'm about to say, do not take this post personally, dear friend.

I identified with 25 out of 35 "signs".

I identified with Item No.12 the most. 

The list was written out of humor, but it only made me sadder.

Perhaps for a person who does not know what it's like being in my position may have read that post with the humor it had meant. Maybe some even found it romantic...and if they did, I can see why; Hollywood has romanticized it. 

But reading that list made me even more aware of how rather unfortunate it is for a person in that situation--how my situation is. Yes, one may think that it is indeed romantic having these little things brighten up your day but that is just it; you have crumbs to keep you from dying of hunger but you rarely ever get to have the full meal. 

When you do, it is over too soon. And then you go back to crumbs.

Then you wait. Indefinitely.

I feel almost everything on that list, everyday, for the past three-plus years and I'm still feeling it. Reading about what I'm uncontrollably feeling unfortunately, is a second stab to the heart. Yes, I can't sit down and watch a decent war themed movie without wanting to burst into tears either. I don't want to be reminded of all the worry, the loneliness, the "what ifs", the heartache, the longing, the crumbs. 

Call me a worrywart if you will. Take this person away and my world will crumble. I've earned the right to worry. 

In the meantime, I just do the best I can.

...and I never give up hope.

Going to University Doesn't Equate to Being Smarter

Now Playing : "To Be Surprised" - Sondre Lerche

ARGH!

I can't believe the nerve of some people! 

So today it was raining, right? I had rushed over to meet Dr.Mahmud (my supervisor) to *finally* hand in my research paper. It was pouring ridiculously heavy and so I had taken my trusty so-large-it-could-be-a-canopy umbrella so that my prized work would not get soaked. (Actually, I had it stuffed under my shirt where it probably had its one and only somewhat 18SX encounter).

Anyway, I left the umbrella outside of Dr.M's office to dry and I went inside. 15 minutes later I hear the umbrella had dropped to the floor so I figured, I better pick it up. I went outside and WHAT DO I FIND?! Someone had bloody switched my umbrella with a tiny dirty looking umbrella!!! The nerve!! Hello, we're not in the bloody bartering system anymore I WANT MY LARGE UMBRELLA BACK YOU STUPID RETARDO!!!!

Ugh. Why even BOTHER leaving me an umbrella--as if it'll do stealing my umbrella any justice?! Wrong time to get a conscience, you stupid nincompoop! 

BAH I'M SO MAD!!

Even though it's really just an umbrella but the whole notion of being robbed at the least unexpected place with the least unexpected thing with the least unexpected educated kind of people makes my blood BOIL! 

I'm taking my voodoo doll and poxing the hell out of you. -_-

Today Is A Good Day

Why?

1. Research paper *finally* completed

2. Lost another pound...which means...

3. Plateau broken

4. Got news that Spencer is almost at my doorstep

5. He did not go on another mission

All pretty darn self explanatory. :D

Give me another stomach

Now Playing : "Wilted Flower" - Maximilian Hecker

Life is ironic. Especially when it comes to food. 

I go to a buffet, get blinded by all the ridiculously good looking dishes and eat and eat and eat. And eat. I want to try everything that looks good! Secretly pray for supposedly-shrinking-stomach-after-7-months-of-dieting to scream NO MORE FOOD so that I'll stop. But stomach stays disobediently silent. I continue to eat.

Today, been moderately good. Overate slightly at Nando's so made up for it by having just pumpkin soup for dinner. Stomach feels slightly full. Er, OK. Liquids, makes sense. Five hours after dinner's digested, I have Mickey Dees' plain ice cream sundae.

Now can't bloody breathe from being too bloody full!!

Someone loves playing tricks on me.

I ought to get one of these. (Don't click, if you're squeamish...this means you, Su Lyn)

Hoo boy!

WHY couldn't have this been brought up weeks ago?!

I had ample time before but now I have to rush to finish something which should have been finished ages ago when I should be revising for next week's finals!

Argh!

Relationships - Strained, and Prelude to.

Now Playing : "Chinaberry Tree" - Mew

I have only four hours before I have to put an end to a too-comfortable slumber but I thought I should say a few words first, especially since I know the two darlings will be back here soon enough.

First darling;

I realized a few things tonight. Not about to start making lists, but one of them was that the mending of my stained relationship with a cousin had been put off for far too long. When he left, he did so much for me than he could ever know (or maybe he does in some supernatural way) and now I want to make amends. 

There is barely any fond memories that I can remember of us both beyond our princess-and-fairies make believe games we played when I was six and I know most, if not all, of it was my fault. I had been the angry, bitter, depressed and reclusive family member you didn't know existed and I had wanted nothing to do with everyone for reasons I can't even remember now.

Yes, you're right, I hid it well. 

But now, I think I'm a different better person. I want you to know that I'm going to make an effort to say hi to you and an effort to not ignore your messages. I'll even try to be less pissed when you disappear from the conversation entirely even though it annoys me to bits. I hope we can become better cousins than how I've been.

I hope you don't mind me posting this shot.

 It's absolutely brilliant and I love it!

I don't regret making this effort with K. I'm glad I did.

This reminds me that I've got an army of not just cousins but also aunts, uncles and a rather weathered lady with whom I share quite silent yet reverberantly loud strained relationships. These, however, I'm not quite ready to forgive and I repeat, we do NOT share anything in common, not even blood. Don't expect an easy forgiveness if you are going to steal and hurt the ones I love.

Second darling;

I stumbled across by accident something you had hoped to keep private, for perhaps as long as you live. In fact, you tried exceedingly your best. You'll know it's you when you spot me on your blog roll. I do expect you to get angry at this innocent intrusion of privacy, but hear me--believe me--when I assure you that as soon as I realized how much it was supposed to be private, I stopped reading. 

I do not want to jump back into having a strained friendship with you after having climbed out of that over the last three years of university. 

For what it is worth, I was enthralled by every last bit of what I did read. Ever since the day I knew you in 2005, I felt that you could be an awesome writer from the way you spoke in class. Tonight, I found out that you really are an expressionist with words and the ideas that I have so long (and perhaps silently, though I vaguely recall mentioning it to you in passing) admired you for.

I promised *Mira* that I would keep mum about hers...and I expect to do the same with yours. 

Pressies!

Pressies from Bali!

Gotta love duty free shops!

Thanks Mum!

Blathering Idiots

I really hate it, yet it really makes me laugh each time some *big shot* harps something like this:

Tengku Faris: Don’t question Malay rights

Seriously. In that case, I'd rather not harp about how wondrously harmoniously intercultural this country is. 

United Nations need not to go to whichever countries are famous for the silencing of human rights advocation. They can come right here, where we will shower them with facades we seem to be so good at and it'll all be back to square one. In fact, why waste money on bringing UN on a field trip here? We can put it to better use by spending RM250k on a flagpole.

While we're on this subject, Dr. S, you were right. While you were highly insulting (as someone in your profession) for choosing to brand your students as "culprits" for the upset of the recent general election, well in your case, someone clearly had to do something. And you wonder why you receive so little respect?

*This post is a way to unleash my opinions about the blathering idiots who run/used to run this country and has absolutely no intention of offending my friends. :)

Stupid Parents

Now Playing : "A Reminder" - The Perishers

Imagine a cold and wet night.

Imagine a large busy street with the headlight of cars illuminating the dark night.

Imagine a boy of no more than five, dash at least 100 meters diagonally across this busy street.

Imagine his parents sitting warm and dry in the car as they gambled his life, watching him toy with danger.

Now, imagine missing that young child by an inch with your car.

Some people just aren't meant to be parents.

I can't imagine what the =expletive= his =expletive= parents were thinking!!!

Pictures Galore! (Updated)

Loads of pictures were taken by myself and several other parties of the last two days of our university life for you to enjoy.

May they bring back fun fond memories :D

Presenting the English Class of 2008!

With Drs. Kamila and Sakina, we'll never forget the faces that brought fond memories in their classes!

(1st Row : Izyan, Dionne, Lee Fui,
2nd Row : Shubes, Min En, Su Mei, June, Joy,
3rd Row : Sze Wan, Jules, Dr. Kamila, Parveena, Dr.Sakina, Abigail and Me)

Never failing to miss a photo opportunity!

Close buddies : Kasturi, Isabel, Su Mei, Parveena, Joy and Dionne in a group squash

Min En brings attitude into the group photo

(R to L : Dionne, June, Kasturi, Min En, Sze Wan)

Edmond and his two chickas; Jules and Me ;)

Pondering to Eat or Not to Eat the Be-yoo-ti-ful cupcake

(thanks Parv!)

Me and Aby aimed our bunny ears a little too low...

Caught in the act!

Dionne, Kasturi, Shubes, Lee Fui, Izyan, Evon, Me and Abigail in a group shot

Edmond and I showing off our proud results!

Edmond and Min En embrace in a too cute hug!

Hoping the door doesn't open from behind, Me, Sze Wan and Jules quickly grab a photo opportunity!

Nothing we love more than cramming people into a photo!

(L to R : Sze Wan, Min En, Parveena, Kasturi, June, Dionne, Lee Fui, Jules and Me)

Me, Parveena and Jules striking a pose

Sandwiched between the only men in our class; Faizal and Edmond! XD

Edmond and Jules

You can make as many connotations as you like, but the fact remains is...

Parveena, Jules and Isabel are having HEAPS of fun!

Lee Fui and Kasturi are all smiles!

June and Me

Family decided to eat out tonight, making today extra special!
Escargots!!

A juicy, juicy steak...mmm!

The Last Waltz

English Class 2008

Now Playing : "Beverly Hills" - Weezer

Since it's past 12am, I've decided to update this blog with a post that holds significance in my life as a student.

Today, at 4pm, my student life will be over. 

That is, the class-going part of it anyway since I still have to sit for exams towards the end of this month. 

Throughout the semester, I had looked forward to this day with much eagerness with the excitement of things to come in my next phase of life. Then, during our lecturer-student luncheon held on Wednesday, as my rambunctious class snapped endless photos of each other in merriment, I couldn't help but start to realize all the feelings of nolstagia that was in the air.

It really hit me then. It really is going to be over. Forever. 

And I couldn't help but feel a little sad.

Our English class of 2008 has been a rather unique one. We have fallen off cliffs, picked ourselves up, created good and not so good :P memories for our dear lecturers and I'm proud to hear our lectures deem the class one of the most memorable and reluctantly missed.

As for my personal experience with uni life, I have inadvertently learnt and strengthened life lessons. I have made wonderful friendships (I must admit, I never had this many girlfriends!) which I hope will last for as long as I hope it would. 

On a rather amusing note, pops was right when before I had started my uni life, he said when I'm in uni, I'll have a boyfriend. Uncannily, I do and the best one ever ;)

But I think one of the best things I've realized is to be able to take a step back and look at how much you've grown (in your thinking, not your bones) through all the experiences uni had to offer/force. I found myself still acting not quite as matured as I would have liked in my first few semesters of uni and now I can see all the other measures that I could have taken if I had put a little bit more maturity in them. Ah well.

I do believe I have grown up quite a bit in the past three years.

And so many memorable events had taken place which I don't think I could ever forget.

So my dear friends, whether you're off to do your Masters, or get married, or fly off to some exotic country to travel or study, or jump right into the rat race, I wish you good luck and I hope we'll keep in touch for as long as we can ;)

Oh, and I want to be invited to ALL your weddings!!!

Yes!!!

YES!!!!!

Opportunists At Work

What do you get when you put four opportunists into a large movie theater that is yet to be filled with people?

Lots and lots of pictures, of course!

Camwhoring in an empty cinema at its best.

The Three Opportunists

(Number Four was taking the picture)

I *really* was squashed...

Performing not-so-dangerous stunts

Surrounded by gorgeous women :P

"The cinema is like, THIS big..!!"

My favorite picture. 

(Notice the Ah Ma look of mine...)

All pictures courtesy of Kel Li

Alive

Now Playing : "Make This Go On Forever" - Snow Patrol

Something incredible happened to me yesterday. 

My passion for writing has been reignited.

It's been over three years since I wrote the last hanging sentence of a story I never managed to complete. Inspiration never came and when forced, I wrote nothing but nonsense that I was downright unhappy with. Edit, edit, edit and finally, delete. Save changes? No.

I had (or well, I still do) assignments which needed last minute tweakings. But then, unexpectedly yet miraculously the sudden inspiration for writing came like wildfire. I could not let this opportunity go, I had to jump on this and at the end of just one day, I had written over six thousand words. The best part; there was no endless editing. I was happy with every last word I wrote. Just like old times.

Being able to write again has made me feel so alive but most importantly, it reminded me of what being passionate about something felt like. Not that I'm not passionate about certain things at the moment, but there was once upon a long time when I was so passionate about writing that I wrote to no end and my mind was always thinking up new story lines, new plots, new characters, new dialogues, new conflicts...the possibilities were endless. 

My writing is heavily influenced by my emotions which in turn, are highly influenced by the songs I listen to which resonate the exact emotions I'm trying to inject into a scene. Perhaps this may sound quite odd to you, but to write a scene filled with overtones of melancholy while I do not feel the slightest hint of sadness in myself will almost always be considered subpar. I would refuse to write until I started to feel my heart literally ache from grieving sadness caused by handpicked songs. I would listen to them endlessly until I felt that emotion that I needed in order to write perfectly...and when I do, the story lines I have yet to write transform into full blown movies in my head which synchronize perfectly with the playing music. I need to feel all the anger, all the sadness, all the depression my character is going to feel. I have often cried while I wrote and reread painful scenes. It may sound completely nuts, but it makes it all the more powerful and personal. 

The point is this; it's not worth writing if it can't make you feel exactly what it wants you to feel. You need not relate to the character, but you should feel all its emotions.

It's so good to be writing again. Life is so much better with it.