Pay, Glorious Pay

It's payday baby!!

I wish I had an actual cheque to take a picture for no-one-but-me but alas, I don't. Still, I got my first pay today and it really wasn't a big deal. I didn't feel excited but then again I was quite busy the whole day today.

I was looking forward to feeling giddy about receiving my first paycheck though. 

Meh, the same day I get a bit richer, is the same day I make big withdrawals to pay bills. Oh, such is life, right? :P

I am defined by my color

Relaaaaaax!

It's nothing anything remotely to do with racism or all the things that we humans use to integrate and again separate from one another.

I'm just talking about my mood ring. *beams*

Yesh, you heard me. My fwaaavorite mood ring that I've held on for many, many years--which, may give you an indication of just how not so young I am getting! 

"But it's just a bloody mood ring!!", you groan.

AHA!

Yuhsee, I've had this ring ever since I was 10 where mood rings were all the rage back in the 90's. The moment I bought it, it never left my thumb for a moment. Even when I took showers. Even when I went swimming. Even when I found out I'm allergic to costume jewelry. 

Eeeeexcept.....when I could no longer shove my ring into my then ever pudgying fingers. My mood ring's lifespan was hastily shortened and I was bummed. So, I put the cherished ring into a tiny Ziplock thingamajig and forced it to sit in the darkness of my drawer for allll eternity muahahaha!!

LOL no, I'm just kidding.

I'm turning 23 in four months (you do the math, lazy people!) and in preparation to my impending US trip, I rummaged through the Drawer Of All Things Bling and came across the ring.

Eyes glistened.

Memories came flashing back.

Hmmmmm....I've lost 50 pounds. I wonder!

*Slip*

*Tilts hand*

*Whooop!!*

Not only does the mood-ring-from-long-ago fits, it's loose!! Wahahahaha!! 

*Jumps with joy but not really because don't want to get giddy*

So now, I'm back to wearing the ring! I'm really not used to wearing rings and only feel comfortable if I wear it on my right thumb and semi comfortable on my right index finger. But then again, the mood ring is kinda thick so would perhaps explain the discomfort. One problem though, my mood ring no longer works! It's a permanent greenish-blue color....err, does anyone know what that means? :P

And yes, that is a giraffe.

Of Robes and Scrolls

Eh, fellas!

If you haven't found out yet, mark your calendars! Our graduation will be held on Aug 6th in the afternoon! If you're asking what time, I have no friggin' idea because they conveniently did not state the time. Also don't know anything about collection of robes. Check the website periodically, they should eventually tell us everything we ought to know ;)

Anxiety

I know I'm too paranoid for my own good

Please don't mind me seeking your reassurance every now and then

Because it helps me

...even though it might totally annoy you to bits :)

Disappointment

Life, as we all know it, has a habit of gift-wrapping a boxful of disappointment. Win some, lose some. Counting your chickens before they hatch.

But enough with the sayings.

People, of all walks of life, deal with disappointment in their own way. Some choose to ignore it altogether and some insist on reverting it from before it became one...and some, try to search for a good or positive outcome from said disappointment.

Tonight, I got hit with bad news. Nothing tragic, relax. But it was something I had looked forward to and wanted for a couple of years now and to find out this late, I felt as if I got picked up and was thrown into an Olympic sized swimming pool filled with disappointment. 

Cause and effect. Not getting what I want will save money. I know this without having to rely on some form of intoxication, I knew this decision is a wise one. 

But for once, for the life of me, I wish I could just act irrational.

But I can't, because I'm just that rational person whose conscience never takes a vacation.

Weight Blues

I had a frustrating discovery tonight.

I found out my weighing scale is perpetually useless. This is why; I step on it, and it says I've gained two pounds. I get off, and step on it again, I've lost three pounds. As if that's not an indication that this scale is obviously wonky, I step on it yet again I've magically lost ten freaking pounds in the difference of one minute. I step on it again, and apparently inhaling oxygen causes weight gain of an instant ten pounds.

In other words, what the bleepity-bleep?!

Now I don't know exactly how much I weigh!! Not do I only not know how much of a setback I'm really in, I also have to now fork out not-yet-earned-cash for a new scale! Perhaps should invest in a digital scale, at least that's believably more accurate.

In a not so totally unrelated problem, mum made giant chocolate chip cookies this week...and they're sitting in a jar in the kitchen unmolested by my fingers right this very second. I've already devoured quite a few of their counterparts of late, and now that my scale has decided to go on a permanent vacation, I think I might need to feed the last few remaining cookies to...my tortoises. Or whatever living thing that's nearest. Except the dogs.

Scale dead, ergo going on a strict makan regiment.

Not gone yet

Now Playing : "10,000 Promises" - Backstreet Boys

Hi everyone!!

Sorry for the mega long absence, I hope you guys aren't too bored waiting for a new post to come up heh! As you may have guessed, I have been really busy with work--and yes, I'm still enjoying it immensely--and almost always fall unconscious in front of the computer before you can count to ten!

But, as every working drone can rejoice about, it's the WEEKEND!!!

Ahh, bliss!

I am definitely not going to open my eyes until noon tomorrow, I am going to catch up on my shows and I am going to give my vocal chords a good rest from talking very loudly with children! Wheee!

Oh, and how could I forget? Have to catch up on my blogging as well! Although, there isn't that much to say, unless you want to read about my work, work, work and more work. But I can tell you this much though, the children at the center where I work are FREAKING adorable!! One of these days, I am going to give in and pinch some little boy's cheeks! Wahahahah!!

Justina, AWESOME dinner-dessert-coffee combo tonight! I loved it and I can't wait to see you next week! What more could we possibly catch up on I wonder?? Have we covered three years of being apart in one night? ;)

Crap

One word:

RM15.

I NEED TO FIND BETTER PARKING!!!!!!!!

First Day

Now Playing : "Ballroom Blitz" - Blue Oyster Cult

*Ring ring!*

I can't remember ever wanting to get a phone call early in the morning. 

But, today I did and it was a good one.

9:30am came and I found out I was now employed...and that I had to report to work at 2pm the same day. 

Some might question the hastiness of my having to start work ASAP but let me tell you, after seeing all the job requirements which I will have to do and all the things that I have done today, I friggin' love this job!!

For privacy purposes I won't elaborate on where I work, but to be paid to work in this environment, I just totally fell in love with it. My new colleagues are nice and fun people, the children with whom I have to teach makes the day and experience so interesting and best of all, I can wear jeans to work!! Boo yah!!

Of course, I had already previously mentioned the good pay/hours/location in an earlier post. Everything combined, it just makes this job seem so desirable.

I think I'm beginning to feel a  little bit more grown up now. *rofl*

Especially with all the kids calling me "auuuunttyyyyyy...!!!!!!!!!!!"

*sweat*

Edit : I forgot to mention that there is just ONE thing I really dislike about this job and that's the freaking PARKING!!! I had to pay RM13.50 today and that is just nutters! I'm not going to do that five days a week so tomorrow I'll be as creative as possible without breaking any road laws ;)

Hopefully.

In the palm of my hands

In other words...

I GOT THE JOB!!

*woot woot*

Nasty Heels

Why?

Because I stinkin' hate wearing heels. It makes me wobble as I walk. I don't like to defy gravity...unless it's in the form of elevators and airplanes. 

But I had to today (insert sad smiley...which actually is kinda oxymoronic).

Went to my very first, and "very serious" (not my words!) job interview today. Had pre-first-time-interview jitters, but don't actually rehearse any damn thing. Don't actually prepare anything other than a butt ugly picture of yours truly, an embarassingly short resume and like, a certificate proving I went to my university hoho!!

The interview turned out to be the exact opposite of "very serious". It was a rather candid and relaxed interview, thank god for that. I didn't feel a single hint of nervousness throughout the interview. Got a look of the workplace, very nice. Barefeet not optional. I like! Plenty of small people (when I say this, I really mean children and not midgets...). I like! Formal dressing not needed. I double like! Good hours. I like! Great pay. I double triple freaking like!!

I really hope I get this job because really, at the present time I couldn't ask for anything better :D

Friends to the End

(Actual conversation that took place last night)

Sue : If I ever had to do that, I'd rather jump off a building.

Darren : Same here. I'll join you on that.

.

.

.

.

.

Sue/Darren : You jump first.

*Pause*

Not An Easy Thing To Do

Now Playing : www.solopianoradio.com

There are times when I am gung-ho.

Then there are times when I lack any motivation whatsoever.

Starting a new diet is an easy thing to do. Giving up is equally, if not easier to do. Keeping at it, that's the hard part. The stomach churns and waves of thoughts swim about in your head. "Oh, if only I could go back to eating (insert food here, here, here and here) to my heart's desire!" Your hand breaks free of central control and next thing you realize, you're back to wolfing down all the goodies like there was no tomorrow, knowing very well that if you continue this, you almost certainly inevitably are denying yourself of an actual tomorrow in the form of a heart attack. Maybe if no one sees me eating all this crap, it won't count. Invisible calories. Yeah!

The truth is, humans aren't designed to be held captive--whether in a cage or in a state of mind.

I am fat, therefore I am held captive in my shell of ugliness and self-worthlessness.

I am on a diet, therefore I am held captive by the minimal range of food I can feed myself.

etc, etc.

Of course, those are just examples pertaining to my opinions. It varies among individuals. My point is that when we bring this state of mind (and subsequently, body) upon ourselves to achieve a goal and despite doing this with full consciousness and voluntarily, why doesn't it stop you from being dragged to the edge of a cliff?

Being strong can really wear you down. I couldn't count with my fingers and toes how many times the thought of giving up has crossed my mind. I also am unable to count how many times I've had to pick myself up after a chance meeting with a bag of cookies.

Don't even get me started on the Crave Monster.

This month it's chocolate.

An obsession with anything is ridiculously frustrating. Food is no exception. I've built nearly all my life tying my emotions in knots around food. Going grocery shopping or just food browsing at the supermarket brings me joy. I like seeing food. I like scouting for what I can or can not eat. I think about food a good percentage of the day, even though it's mostly planning my meals. It has turned from a bad obsession of food to a good one, but bottom line, still an obsession with food.

Distancing myself from my favorite pastime and learning to let go of it (I don't think I know of anyone else who calls eating a "pastime" :| ) isn't an easy thing to do. To have come this far has demanded tremendous strength and nothing has been the biggest motivator to keep pushing on as PICTURES have been. That's correct. Whenever I sense myself start to take a go-kart joyride towards the edge of a cliff, I look through pictures. Mountains of pictures. Always start with the old, ending with the new.

Each old picture saying...

"Do you really want to go back to this?"

"OMG"

And each new picture screaming...

"You're almost there!"

"Never thought you'd look like this/come this far, eh?"

I thought I'd share two such pictures with you. This also isn't an easy thing for me to do, sharing pictures of myself that I don't like with the public. As camwhorish as you may have noticed me getting as of late, I am still extremely picky with what pictures I choose to publish. I don't shun the front of a camera as I notoriously used to, but I still get freakishly paranoid of who gets to see the end product. Admittedly, I never like to put up any hideously humpback whale pictures of mine up here mostly because I don't want the BF to see, but I've justified it this time that I can proudly say that's no longer me because I chose not to give up and bear with my cage just a little longer.

First : Me at my heaviest at 175lbs in February 2007
Second : Me at my lightest thus far at 126lbs in June 2008

Bubba Gump

We finally ate at the newly opened Bubba Gump restaurant at the Curve during lunch today. It was a really nice place and the staff were friendly, just like how all new restaurants are. The food was good--albeit 90% of the items in the menu are (deep) fried and portions are massive, just as how it is these days. To dine here, you'd need to be ready to empty your wallets as the fare is not cheap but since this was our first time, I suppose we can keep one eye closed ;)

Although I enjoyed myself here, I don't think I'll make a frequent appearance at this restaurant as eating all that oil drenched food made me almost nauseated...but that's probably because I've been staying away from fried foods for awhile now. Also, the hefty price is a big deterrent. But to those who are unperturbed by either or both, you should definitely stop by at least once. You'll never eat as much shrimp in one place I tell ya!

Shopping Galore

Shop. Shop. Shop. Shop!

That's what I have been doing literally non-stop from morning til almost midnight for the past four days while in Singapore. I couldn't have chosen a better time to take a trip down south really. I had no intention of buying anything with my rather limited funds and had every intention of just walking about taking in the sights.

Ha! Tell that to any woman who happened to go down to Singapore while the mega Singapore sales takes place and see if she actually sticks to only sightseeing! How lucky for me that literally every shop I laid my eyes on had all kinds of discounts! You'd be crazy to think I was going to let this opportunity pass me by.

I mall hopped like crazy, covering at least six different malls within three days. You'd think with all the mall hopping I would have truckloads of stuff that I bought. Wrong. At the end of the trip, I had only bought two things for myself, both of which happen to be technically the same sort of thing; handbags. It's my weakness at the moment, I can't seem to resist buying bags and more bags! I had gleefully purchased a Nine West black handbag and a Charles & Keith gold handbag (refer to picture above) at bang-for-your-buck prices which I could probably never ever get back home. Imagine that, Nine West!!! I was on cloud nine when I made that happy purchase :D

I did buy other things though while on my super long shopping trip. However, they were mostly toys for Ian, something which I've discovered I can't help but want to buy more and more things for the people back home whenever I'm off on a trip. I actually find so much happiness in getting all sorts of things for the people I love and when it comes to buying something for myself, I'll stinge and stinge until I can absolutely not hold out any longer.

I'm back home now, but it really has been a blast. The travelling alone, the endless shopping sprees and the eventual hope of seeing the weighing scale needle go left tomorrow morning after all that non stop walking.