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Now Playing : "Blame It On My Youth" - Jamie Cullum

I strongly believe in Karma.

Have you ever been approached by someone--anyone--who needed your help? I'm talking about lost children, beggars, charity fund collectors, blind people who over the years have constantly come up to you in hopes you'll give them a helping hand. 

I've always believed that there was a reason why any one person may have felt that they always attract these people whenever they are out. I believe that in their past lives, this person has done so much good that their good karma level builds up and is carried over in their present life. I believe that it's this good karma that draws these people in need for you to shower them with your good karma. After all, isn't what it's all about? You help them to achieve a better standard of living--no matter how small or large you contribute. 

However...

I don't like to be cheated.

And because of this, I wrestled with myself today (not literally, of course!) during lunch. Jules, Su Lyn, Subha, Evon, Carrie, Min En, Edmond and I were having lunch at McDonald's when an elderly man came up to Evon and co.'s table and begged for some lunch money. Collectively, all of us seemed to be questioning whether to give this man what he wants. In the end, Evon gave him RM5 and he took off immediately.

But something didn't feel quite right.

I know it's not good to judge people but this man didn't fit the beggarly-homeless bill at all. For starters, he was not unkempt--his clothes were clean and pressed, his body didnt look dirty or smelly and his hair was not in knots and oily crumples as dirty, oil hair normally would be. He spoke good English--something which your normal run of the mill beggars don't normally do either. Also, when we offered to buy him lunch, he insisted that he wanted RM5 for Chinese food elsewhere. This man also tried to promote his case by holding up medication and a medical certificate (both of which look very clean and very recent) saying that he was just discharged from the hospital and he had nowhere to go or no money. All this and even more so when Jules mentioned that she was once approached by him some time back where he had asked her for bus money.

Later, when Su Lyn went to inform McD's manager about this man harassing us--well, some of us felt that he was and to our not-so-surprise, they knew about him and we were told that no matter how they tried to keep him out he would always find a way in, evading the ground floor where staff could spot him and lurk upstairs instead. We were also told that he would often get angry when staff tried to tell him to stay away.

Edmond, this isn't your fault. You do not always attract people like this.

But I felt really bad. 

I had wanted to give him something, but held back when things just didn't add up. I didn't give a damn about collecting more good karma or attracting bad ones. I felt pity for this man but was I really helping him if I were to give him something? Would I be okay if I just gave him anyway but knew that he was probably laughing his head off at successfully scamming a couple of university students?

Maybe not.

Maybe I should have just given him something on good faith that he wasn't cheating us. 

Maybe it doesn't really matter anymore, because the fact is that I chose not to give. Kind of makes me feel like a bad person.