I don't want to, I NEED to.

First, let me tell you a story.

There's this war, right.

On one hand we've got Sgt. Green Vegetable, Cor. Lean Meat and Lt. Fruit.

On the other, we have Heil Fat and his minions; Starbucks, Coco "nut" Milk and Agent Oil who has been ruling the dominion for awhile now.

So, they fight. Hard. Thorns were swashbuckled. But most of all, bad puns were exchanged.

"Orange you going to get the hell out?!"

"Olive you alone if you make yourself sparse!"

"Dis nacho land, get-aoouuwwt!!"

And an unfortunate Coco "nut" Milk who, born with a mouth defect, mispronounced all her Gs and ended up yelling her own name multiple times when telling the troops to charge.

"Cocococococo!!"

...

Eventually, the good guys won and the land was a better place. For awhile.

Over a year since their defeat, Heil Fat was still displeased. For days, he would sit in his potato couch reeling and pondering his revenge. And then...a knock came at the door. It was the person he had been waiting for. He looked at the slick, cool dude with his shiny black sunglasses who was petting his pet cat, Cheetos.

"Mr. Andersens."

Mr. A put up a hand.

"Please, call me Ice Cream."

They conspired. They schemed...and at last, they found the Secret Recipe.

SET LUNCHES!!

The battle continues.

Taking a cue from Ms.Sampat's most recent blog post, I decided to come up with a list of my own.

1. Eat healthily for a day.

2. Eat healthily for more than one day.

3. Eat healthily for a week.

4. Eat healthily for more than one week.

5. Eat healthily for a month.

6. Lose weight.

As you can see, mine's somewhat of a shorter list than hers. My goal is simple;

Stop pigging the fuck out.