It's scary what we choose to sacrifice
Today, I scared myself.
I've always been one to put loved ones first; family, boyfriend. Whether it be a simple outing to a major decision, it was clear and simple. No need for second thoughts.
Then I got this job--my first job--which has been causing me to sacrifice time to be with subjects of matter. At first it was missing two dinners a week with the family. Shortly after, I was cutting down on quality time with Phil on two days.
Now, this job--this, highly unstable job, is giving me back my two missing dinners but taking away five days of substantial quality time with Phil.
And I'm accepting as of tomorrow.
It's a bittersweet thing.
I'm happy to be able to no longer work nights...but, how could I have said Yes, to lean towards agreeing to something which would take away more of what little I have with him? Do I have to sacrifice even more sleep five days a week? Would I sacrifice it?
Yes, I would.
Knowing eventually, it would take its toll on me. I'd grow old faster, die younger and eye bags so big I'd be mistaken for a panda.
But who am I? Sacrificing all these for what? Money? It's sad.
It's just a job!
Loved ones are loved ones.
I just hope I'll only need to keep on doing this for not that much longer.
I don't want to be forced to give up more and more.
7 comments:
hey my dear, don't think so much about it. it's part of life. after a while- once you get use to the routine, you'll be able figure out something where you can spend more and more time with your love ones. :)
p.s: if you need anything give me a buzz.. :)
Aww thanks for the advice, Irene. I really appreciate it. I hope things will work out on its own too and not blow up in my face.
Thanks for reaching out! *hugs*
Irene is right. It's just something we have to do. When I moved away from Penang I knew that it would be really hard and sad to sacrifice the time away from my family but hey, I needed to get a tertiary education and that was something that had to be done. Now I need to have a job and that means less time with Shane and also less time with my family but in order to survive, it has to be done. And Irene's right in saying that soon you'll figure out a way to accommodate everything. Just don't dwell on it too much as it will eat you alive.
I've been there & done that, panda-eyes all the time :P - I have sacrificed alot of time for my work but when I have the chance to spend time with my family or my love I will make the best out of it and really enjoy with them :) note: don't take your work-worries back with you... take care of yourself & be happy, they will be happy as long as you're happy :D cheers!!
Jules: I understand what you are saying in regards to your family, but it's a little different if you compare yourself and Shane to me and mine. You still get to come home to him and spend whatever hours you have left of the day with him. I don't. Whatever ounce of time I do have with Phil is what I'm trying to hold on to. I hope you understand.
Thanks everyone :D
I know it's different but I was just illustrating the fact that sacrifices need to be made in life for whatever reason and sometimes we just have to keep moving on. I understand how hard it is for you and my comment was not to undermine that at all. Just to agree with what Irene said and to say that her advice is golden. Cheers!
I know, which is why the post is about how scary it is when a person realizes what she's willing to sacrifice. I don't deny the fact that sacrifices have to be made, just that when it comes down to it, you never know how much you're capable of letting go. And that in itself, is scary. That's all.
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