I really really really want...

Now Playing : "Black Velveteen" - Lenny Kravitz

...a sandwich.

I am hungry. Seeeeeeriously hungry. It's 4:20AM and instead of being in lala-land, I am wide awake with a stomach begging

Feed me!! Feed me!!

But I don't...cuz I am on a diet.

Then in rebellion, it growls, which sends vibrating signals to my mouth to turn on the taps and start salivating. Mop up on aisle three!!! Then I begin to think about having a sandwich for lunch tomorrow but then I realized that I'll be out during that time so I thought OK, maybe I'll have a sandwich for breakfast instead.

I'll just set the alarm.

...for 10AM

To wake up to have a sandwich.

Ham. and. cheese.

at 10AM...

Nononono!! That won't do! It would be totally ridiculous and detrimental to my diet plan if I were to get up at 10AM just to have a sandwich and then have lunch outside which also means it'll probably be calorie-laden just three hours later???

Am I bordering on paranoia yet? Obsessive much!!

I've gone down 7 pounds and I'd be pissed to let all the hardwork--but mostly suffering--go to waste just to have a sandwich tomorrow! So I'll have it either for dinner tomorrow or for lunch on Wednesday. Not a big deal really! But the fact of the matter is...

I. really. love. sandwiches.

As far as I'm concerned, sandwiches are the food of Gods. I could eat them for every meal, everyday. Stuff anything between two slices of carbs and I'll walk the trapeze for you. Let me just tell you, even though this is technically useless information for you, that sandwiches are up there in my top three favorite foods. The others being potatoes and cheese. 

The problem is...my stomach won't shut up. 

And it really, really, really wants a sandwich right now.

I'm determined to shut the bugger up so I thought OK, maybe if I just Googled some pictures of sandwiches hopefully that'll keep it quiet.

BAD MOVE.

Totally and absolutely dumb move on my part. It was like feeding Gatorade to my stomach to make even more noise in protest of not giving it food. Kind of makes me real glad that there's a motion-sensor burglar alarm downstairs.