Purity that should remain as is

There are a lot of movies I can handle. 

While gore isn't exactly my forte at withstanding, I can normally manage those depicted in war, horror and zombie movies. If you have watched Kill Bill or something along the lines of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, you'll know where my level of appreciation is at when I say I can't stomach those. 

Although...watching Linda Blair walk upside down down a flight of stairs was plain fucking scary.

Tonight, I discovered that I can't watch movies where babies are possessed by spirits. Or babies being evil. Or anything bad about babies in general. I did not want to watch it in the first place but somehow did--and I simply could not sit through it.

Babies to me are something so pure and beautiful and now that I've been working with young children, it sickens me to watch them portrayed as demonic or satanic beings. I think it's just revolting to think of them as anything but pure. Watching a zombie baby in Dawn of the Dead was one thing, but to take a perfectly healthy baby and stick an evil spirit in it is just...blerrgh.

Evil angels, I can handle. Give me evil babies and I'll start begging for rainbows and ponies.

Red

I got my surprise Valentine's Day gift today in the mail.

The box was squashed from handling.

Some of the chocolates melted into disfigured gloop.

But I still LOVED it!!

It was the longest 13 hour work day ever! :D

Thank you, darling!

Fun Weekend in Melaka

I just got home from having quite a fun weekend with a friend in Melaka.

We spent just overnight in the tourist trap Jonker Street but it was enough to get our fill of some delicious chicken rice balls and cheap kaya balls! We did some shopping--although one of us more than the other *wink*. The weather was simply gorgeous and was very conducive for walking about looking at all there are to see.

In short, we had fun!

Here are pictures for you to look at.

Happy Birthday June!!

Through looking glasses

I did what I said I'd do and today I got it.

In just one day--infact, if calculated precisely, less than 24 hours after I went to get new glasses at Focus Point in Tropicana City, my new pair was ready.

Nice?

They were having a sale where a range of glasses were selling for RM159 inclusive of frame and lenses. My discount coupon as previously mentioned, was only eligible if my purchase rang up to a minimum of RM200. The best part of this tale was that I was asked to upgrade to better lenses for a flat sum of RM50 thus enabling my coupon to be used! 

So I got new glasses with upgraded lenses for only RM159!

Kudos to Focus Point for the extremely speedy service and discounts :P

At long last, now I can finally retire my beat up glasses.

See the cellophane tape?

It's fate and I can't fight it

I've been needing new glasses for awhile now. Not just because my glasses have been unmercifully trod on and is now held in place with cellophane tape but also due to the fact that I'm becoming blinder as of late...which is kind of ironic since last year I had enjoyed improving vision. Meh.

I've been putting off getting new glasses because of one very simple fact; glasses are expensive. Very expensive. I could wait for a sales promotion to get one, but then all they'd have would be fugly frames. So I put it off for as long as I can, even though I could feel my eyesight slowly deteriorating more and more.

Then today, I had a close shave with a motorcycle which I almost hit because I didn't see him right smack in front of me. To make matters more eerie, I came home today and found the above in the mail addressed to me.

It's fate, and I can't fight it. :(

It's time for me to get new glasses.

Puddles

Joining in the fun in our patio!

Happy Chinese New Year!

Here's hoping you guys have a prosperous new year!

.

.

.

.

.

...and treat the cows nicely. It's their year ;)

Happy Birthday Ian!

Here he is visibly upset about dropping his half eaten crab pincer...

Ian turns 11 today!

I hope you enjoyed your day out with us :D

The best dream I've had in a very long while

Seahorses swimming calmly in front of me

Their tiny tails swirl around my wrinkled fingers

Darkness engulfs us

But their luminescent yellow bodies glow

My body hangs where the two meet

air and water

I let them take me where willing

Holding nothing but artificial light in my hand

Time shifts and I'm not alone

Black and white bodies appear

From behind and underneath

Sleepy and silent

Killer whales glide like ghosts in air

And I only hope the light I shine does not distract

More come from behind

I feel calm in their presence

Serene.

I wake up.

Renewal

Now Playing : "Human" - The Killers

I didn't plan this. Not at all.

But I knew this the moment I woke up today; I needed a renewal of myself.

I had shrivelled into an invisible shell where I found myself not able to do anything except wallow in sorrow from separation and using verbal means of expressing that. 

So today, I decided enough was enough. I miss him terribly but I was going to stop letting that control me each day. I still love you though, P ;)

But it didn't feel complete. It wasn't transformational enough. I didn't want to lose myself, mind you, but I needed to break open this shell I'm trapped in and the only way I knew how was firstly to change the music I was listening to.

I pledge not to listen to classical and jazz so much for the remainder of this month.

Then I downloaded the likes of Ne-Yo, Rihanna, Metro Station and Estelle...and even Britney Spears. They've been on loop ever since. 

I started to feel a little more upbeat.

Renewing myself didn't end there. Today I had to ferry my mother to the hairdresser's and hadn't the slightest plan to let them touch my hair. Then I decided for a trim to get rid of the split ends.

As I placed myself in their chair, a feeling of an overwhelming desire to do something spontaneous came over me. I peered at myself in the mirror and there it was...my long hair. My comfort zone. 

Then I decided this was it. I needed it gone.

It wasn't an easy decision. Despite its six month old perm growing out and its less than healthy shiny complexion, I still loved it because it still made me feel beautiful when I decided it did. But it was also holding me back and ultimately, its dullness was pulling me along with it.

I've always wanted short hair. I promised myself I would when I got rid of the flab.

So, snip snip.

It worked. I felt great instantly. So much that the moment I got home, I slapped on some make up, put on something I haven't worn out in awhile and bolted out the door.

I feel good now. I feel renewed.

Not such a glam picture, but it'll do for now.

Egad

Eww, no!

I'll take William Hung anytime.

I just want to be weak, sometimes.

Edgy.

The one word which aptly describes how I've been feeling this week. 

Strangely enough, this isn't caused by work as it usually is--in fact, it's been a good week at work. No stress, no meetings, and overall have had enjoyable classes. In short, I've been a pretty free duck this week.

For the past week and into the next month or so, my fiancé is up to his neck with work. We've only spoken twice this week and barely at that, and that's gotten on my nerves a little bit. However, don't get me wrong. I'm not unreasonable and do understand that we can't be conjoined at the hip every breathing moment...but it's just hard.

Then earlier this week, I received happy news that a friend of mine is getting married soon and having a baby. 

Wow, that really pained me.

Nononononooo...don't misunderstand me. I am super happy for this friend and very excited to attend the wedding. I was even cooing over the prettiness of the name she had picked out for her soon-to-come baby.

But let me tell you...

I am SO envious.

It just really pains me because I wish I could be in her position. 

I wish I could get married now. I wish I had the guts and the screw-it-ness to just drop everything and run off to Italy and get married right now. I wish I don't have to wait another two plus years. I wish I could be picking out baby names too, instead of waiting until I'm 30. I wish I didn't have to spend most of my time being engaged alone. I wish I didn't have to be alone.

I wish I was weak. 

I don't want to be rational and know that all these things, I can't do right now. I don't want to be rational and I wish I didn't care that I am financially, legally and geographically unprepared to be all those things I so desperately want to be right now. I wish I didn't sound so whiny whining about this. 

There's just so many things I wish right now...and almost all of them involve being not alone anymore. 

Party Planner

Ian's birthday party is coming up this Saturday and yours truly has volunteered to include a game or two into the itinerary--right there between eating, video games and cake--just so the lot does not spend four hours glued in front of the telly. 

This isn't my first time coming up with games for a kids party, although technically all those previous years doesn't count as it doesn't take two seconds to throw musical chairs and hide and seek into the mesh. And since now that I'm teaching, hey, who better than to direct those skills into contributing something to this party?

I spent the past week experimenting with a game or two with my classes, whenever I was able to sneak some time. I basically suck at coming up with creative games, so I did what I know best--a general knowledge game. The very mention of the name made my kids literally groan at the possible dullness by the sound of it.

However, they soon changed their minds. Here's how the game works;

1. Divide kids into smaller groups

2. Distribute sheets of paper and pencils to one elected member of each group 

3. Ask questions

4. Kids get 60 seconds to write down as many answers as they can come up with

5. Points are awarded based on how many correct answers they give

6. Winner gets bragging rights for the day

This is a list of questions I've been able to come up with so far and have tested;

Name as many...

1. Countries which names end with -land

2. Animals which live on both land and in water

3. Insects which do not have any color of the rainbow

4. Countries which names end with -a

5. Animals which names start with the letter C

The kids really enjoyed these games, but I'm running out of ideas. I try not to ask easy questions like no.5 and prefer those which require a little more thinking (no.1-4). Any ideas? I would appreciate it!

One Step Closer

I meant to blog about this happy occasion instead of trumpeting it around Facebook, but since I didn't have it with me shortly after arriving back in Malaysia until today, I didn't feel like I should until it was back safely with me.

So folks...

Yours truly has gotten engaged!!

You guys (you know who you are) can stop pestering me to tell you how it happened. It happened on Christmas Day when Phil and I were in Venice. It was my first time there and he has been waiting until I finally visited Venice to ride the ridiculously priced gondola.

No, no, no.

Contrary to what you thought, we did not get engaged on the gondola...and singing gondoliers are a myth anyway. After the gondola ride, we walked around a little bit until we got to a place called the Rialto market which happened to be closed that day. We walked to a quiet, deserted part to an arched walkway overlooking the river where we could see gondolas rowing by. 

We stopped at the edge to enjoy the scenery. Then, he turned to face me and took out a small, gift-wrapped box. He said, "here's your second Christmas present". I gleefully unwrapped it, revealing a brown and obvious jewelry box. I had a smile plastered on my face as I looked at him. 

I was afraid and a little hesitant to open the box. I had my hopes up. Really, very high up. I wanted it to be what I thought it was. But at the same time, I was worried that I might open the box only to find a pair of earrings or something absolutely the opposite of what I hoped it would be. Silly, right?

Anyway, I did open it. The ring was beautiful, exactly what I would have wanted. My actions were swiftly followed by his words "I know we don't have a date yet but I was wondering if you would marry me...".

My heart leaped out of its cavity completely!

I hugged him and half-whispered,

"Yes!"

He put the ring on my finger and we kissed...

on a date which would forever hold significance more than just Christmas and in the one place I would never forget.

Next month, on February 20th, will mark our four years together.

I really can not wait for the future.

I'm not dead

*wind howls*

It's really dead here, isn't it?

Yes, I know and I'm sorry. I have nothing to blog about. Well, actually, I do have material from my wonderful trip to Italy but I let the pictures do the job over in Facebook. In fact, I'm spending way too much time over there and not enough here. 

I spent my first week of 2009 going through an emotional turmoil. Work, hoping to be a distraction for me, didn't work as well as I'd hope. However, things are looking up as the second week approaches. I'm feeling better and work is getting a little more bearable. Maybe I'll have something not so dismal to talk about here.

In fact, tomorrow I may have something to blog about. I'm pretty excited to get it back.

Anyway, here's just to let you guys know I haven't forgotten about you. :)

Home

Well, I'm back home again.

Interesting things have happened during this trip.

Experienced a snow storm...

Ate more pizzas to last a lifetime...

Got a shiny rock on my finger...

Rode a gondola...

Experienced bitter cold weather...

Right now, I'm not really in the mood to blog as I'm missing P too much. 

So here are two photo albums for you to view of my trip.

Enjoy.

Album 1

Album 2

Album 3

Prego!

By the time you folks read this, I'll *finally* be on a plane to Venice, Italy.

I will be spending Christmas and New Year's with Phil, so as usual, you'll get pictorial updates either along the way or when I get back on January 3rd.

'Till then, have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year everyone!

And specially, Happy Birthday to Darren, whose birthday I'll sadly miss this year. I hope you have a good one!

Romance, oh romance, where for art thou hiding?

Now Playing : "Skylark" - Monica Mancini

Rom-coms 'spoil your love life'

First, click on the link above and read the article. Then scoot back here.

I've always enjoyed watching romantic comedies. In fact, on my list of favorite movies, You've Got Mail scores big. I especially loved the dialogue and at that time, the thrill of meeting someone through the internet was intriguing.

Heh, see where that got me *wink*.

I think that romance as a whole, is pretty subjective. After reading the article, I couldn't help but find myself acknowledging that some of what Hollywood wants to project as being "romantic" has shaped my definition of what's romantic.

Yes, I want to be slow dancing on a dock or on a deserted beach on a quiet night under the bright full moon. Surprise candlelight dinners sound good too. The guy showing up unexpectedly anywhere I am at knowing I'd be ecstatic he did. Midnight walks in the park. Snowball fights. Smooching in front of a fireplace. Being cheeky in a dark cinema.

Heh. I got carried away.

But seriously, how many of the above have not appeared in movies? I tried to think really hard of something that I'd consider romantic that hasn't yet appeared in any movie. I failed. 

Up until me being with Phil, I've been sporadically in a few relationships--none of which felt serious or important enough for me to be thinking of romantic situations which I'd like to happen. I suppose it was just as well that none of them were very romantic at all either. 

Being in a relationship with Phil has taught me that you can't expect the other person to be romantic the way you want them to be. Of course you could ask, but what's the fun in that? I've learned that all the small (or big) things your loved one does with/for you which makes you smile are what makes him/her romantic and that's what Hollywood can't tell you. If this can't shape your own personal definition of romance, then truly, rom-com movies have indeed ruined your love life.

That being said, rom-com movies aren't the only culprits. Ever listened to a song and cringed at how cheesy the lyrics are? There is only one song in mind which takes the cake for this.

And after you watch it, I don't even need to explain myself. 

Then again, nearly all of their songs are pretty unrealistic, though it's nice to dream ;)

Watch it. I don't care how much you protest.

And to put the icing on top...

I can't wait for this Friday's Christmas party!!